So yesterday, I made a gross miscalculation.
I had work at four in the afternoon, so I thought to myself, “Hey, I’ll wake up at two, make a quick post, get ready for work and then get a ride there!” Shortly after I woke up did I realize that I had no ride other than public transportation and, the way my job pans out, I need to leave an hour before my shift to make it on time. And, as it so turns out, I just got back from work an hour ago.
Poor timing and planning on my part, really.
I tried to make an entry today via Xanga Mobile, but the blasted thing ended up sending me in a loop of error after error, so I eventually just gave up on the idea of getting a blog in on time. So much for that streak. =/
On the plus side, I have a few things to regale you with today, so at least I have some sort of substance. Think of it like this: if substance were meat, this would be like the meat you get at Taco Bell. Wait, is that good or bad?
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Day Thirty-One: Introspection
My iPod (and iTunes for that matter) and I have a strange relationship. More often than not, whenever I’m feeling down about something, my iPod chooses the most fitting, depressing song to play.
Today, as I got on the bus to work, I turned on my iPod and instead of going with the usual playlist I made for myself, I decided to just hit play and see what I get. (For those of you who don’t know, I have an 80GB iPod… with only 500MB of space left on it.) Out of the almost 15,000 songs, it plays a song by Tilly and the Wall, entitled “I Always Knew.”
But before I go on, another brief explanation.
I recently reconnected with a dear, dear friend of mine; someone who influenced my taste in indie/less-well-known music as well as my outlook on both life and other people as a whole.
We had been in a serious relationship for some time but around fourteen months or so, after the circumstances changed, we broke up. After a few weeks, I thought I was fine with it. We were still friends; I still talked to her on a semi-daily basis. But about a week later, I found out that she was in a relationship.
And it was at that moment that I cut her off entirely.
I still thought about her every now and then–after all, she meant a lot to me for a big portion of my considerably-short life–but I dismissed the thoughts as moments of weakness and continued to live my life. Few things happened to remind me of her until (not so) recently, where so much happened that I haven’t even the slightest idea as to how to begin.
The short of it is that, in the end, I ended up cutting off another person. As the days passed and I got more information about what was going on, I realized that what I was doing now was the same thing I did that year ago. I didn’t bother to hear the other side of things, I didn’t even stop to think about it. After the realization, I reached out to both parties and, thankfully, they’ve both accepted my apologies.
Now, back to the song.
My iPod chose to play for me “I Always Knew” by Tilly and the Wall, a band that the aforementioned dear friend had introduced me to (one of the many, many small reminders I had of her). The song was in the large majority of songs I hadn’t listened to yet, but since I liked how the song started and because I got reacquainted with the person who introduced me to them, I figured I might as well.
I ended up listening to the (three-minute-and-eleven-second) song for the entire (twenty-minute) bus ride and half of the (twenty-minute) walk.
The lyrics:
I’ve lived my life inside daydream lies
Imaginary friends that always knew one day I’d leave for good
I’ll give away this girl who tried to make you fall in love
I’ll give her to you so keep her close to you
So you won’t forget about oh how she loved you
So long ago, once upon a time
Now she has grown up, and you can’t take it back
A lullaby won’t change my mind
And I won’t ever go back to that
I will stay true to this belief that we’ve changed
For the best through this
Seperate the ones who know you
From the ones who couldn’t bother to see you for all that there is
Deep down I always knew all the times
I thought that I loved you
It was just an easy answer
It was make believe
But I still believe that this heart will learn to love
…
It’s funny how much a song can make you realize that you fucked up.
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Day Thirty-Two: Exhaustion
I’m writing this at four in the morning, singing to songs playing on my iTunes. Clearly, my priorities are set and are in no need of fixing.
Today’s itinerary is short but time-consuming.
I’m going to probably see a college counselor about setting up fall semester, then a friend’s house, and then… work. That’s it. I’ll be gone from nine in the morning to one… in the morning. I just don’t know how I’m going to do that on only five hours of sleep, especially if I’m still up writing arbitrary blog posts and Facebook chain-mail notes… haha.
Something of note before I hit the hay, though: Tags are weird.
I think this current layout neglects to show the tags of any given blog I write, but the usual tags I include are “blog everyday for a year,” (as a whole sentence because the words alone are too vague) “blog every day for a year” (because some people put the space between “every” and “day”), “boring” and “mundane,” (because they are) along with whatever I’m writing about for the day (for example, today’s are “tags are important” and “kinda emo”). I’ve always known that whatever you tag your stuff as is important, but it’s always weird to me when I hit the “footprints” section and see what people searched to get to me.
A long time ago, when I referenced a band and put them in a tag (even if I didn’t talk about them) I’d get random hits from Google and Yahoo. It was interesting, though, because I found out that my blogs or, at least the older ones, are achived and Google-able.
Anyway, I recently got a hit from a fellow Xangan who searched for “The Cubers.” I haven’t the slightest idea who these cubers are, but when I clicked the blog it went to, it was about the game I mentioned a while back during BEDA, (Blog Every Day in April, the project that made me start this one) “the cube.”
Hardly the same, but it goes to show that tags are important… even if they’re oft-times misleading, haha.
Hmm… Today’s been a day for many a realization. Unfortunately, the overwhelming consensus is that “I’m an idiot.“
…Alright, I’m gonna head out before I ramble any longer. Catch you all tomorrow.
Tags: Blog Every Day For A Year, blog everyday for a year, boring, kinda emo, mundane, tags are important
